did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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