two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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