im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Do vagina's smell?
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I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize