I think im going to throw up on grandma
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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