Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize