I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
