just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
