butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
