i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
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May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
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I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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