would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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