i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dicks are not precious.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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