why do cheetos always look like penises
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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