HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
