hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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