I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i already hear my dad disowning me
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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