I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
