I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize