I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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