I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
