dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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