woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
