he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
