I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
