pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Randomize
