So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
