I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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