just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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