I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
