my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
