I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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