i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
