I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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