I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
