umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
