You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
