Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
