so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
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