I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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