what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
