Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize