Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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