you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
