PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
