I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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