Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
