Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
