Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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