Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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