We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He better not be in your backpack
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize