Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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