Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize