Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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