in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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