Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
