i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
