Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Your cock deserves a montage
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
