uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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